I really do love dogs. Except for the majority of those little crap weasels. You know, the ones that yap and bite your ankles like it's free dessert at a fat camp. The one thing I really just can't stand is people who truly believe that their animal has logic and reasoning capabilities. Jerk-offs who say things like "he's like 'give me some of that food!'", or "He's like, 'I just wanna go for a walk, daddy!", or "he's like 'When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle. Oh, it was beautiful, magical.."
You get the idea.
It always seems to be prefaced with "he's like". Holy hell, at least get creative and say something like "'Give me some food,' Rex said, with a sly grin". Oh, wait, dogs can't grin, and Winn-Dixie doesn't count. The most a dog can hope for is a mental picture of a pork tenderloin, because they're not sentient and do not have reasoning capabilities or an advanced enough language center to truly understand English. The only reason I can think of for the owners of pets to act this way is either severe mental illness or they just read WAY too many Animorph books growing up.
Anyway, let's get down to the reason why I hate this. It's because no matter how much I like someone or how intelligent they seem to be, when they participate in this kind of nonsense, it makes me think they're flaky. It's a totally unfair assumption. Maybe they just like to play pretend, or some BS like that, but whatever. I can't help it. I just automatically get a picture of the person sharing fake tea with dolls, or something. Do people really think that an animal that craps in the backyard in front of everyone, is capable of the complex internal debates that occur within humans every day? And quit dressing your fugging dog (or cat) up, you sickos.
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